Title: You'll Be In My Spark
Location: Skyline Tower
Date: 29 May 2015
Summary: Blurr seeks to make amends, beginning with Feint.
++ Skyline Tower ++
Every apartment inside the Skyline Tower takes up half of an entire floor, and every last one of them has a magnificent view of Translucentia Heights, and Iacon, outside. The building has its own security team to keep out the riffraff.
It's been some time since Blurr has last seen Feint. Despite the fact that he was the one who broke off the relationship, and even said she was dead to him, he has undeniably been missing her more and more with every passing moment. For a while, he'd tried to ignore it, tried to tell himself that he didn't deserve to see her any more but suffice it to say that a lot of things have come to light as of late.
Maybe he didn't deserve to see her again, at the very least she deserved some kind of closure...after all these vorns. So he finally mustered up the courage to call her, asking her to meet him at the Skyline Tower, in that very same unit where they'd first bonded all those years ago. Well who knew, maybe she would have changed her hailing frequency, what with everything that was happening. But it couldn't hurt to try, right?
She answers the call. Feint's voice is loud and clear on the communicube. "Is that you Blurr? It's been a little while, hasn't it? What can I do for you?" she sounds cheerful, if slightly tired. Things have been busy for her since the Decepticons took over.
Blurr notes her tired sounding voice, and figures she's been up to a lot. He pauses for a moment before saying anything, and when he does he sounds kind of timid...almost ashamed. "Yeah, it's--it's me." A pause. "Feint, I know I shouldn't even ask this of you but..." he glances offscreen then back toward the cube. "If you have time---I mean, if you could bring yourself t--" he shakes his head. "I mean, I'd really like to see you again. Yeah."
"I'm quite all right with that, Blurr." Maybe not what he expected, but hopefully a pleasant surprise instead. "I've been wondering how you're getting on these days. Certainly, I'll be right over, if the address I'm seeing is correct. I think I know how to find my way in." She goes offcom to travel in relative stealth, and arrive at Skyline Tower quickly.
It does as a pleasant surprise...once the comm cuts, a look of slight relief flashes across Blurr's features. Ugh, he'd -really- slaughtered that, but at least she isn't angry or bitter or disappointed, or anything like that. Still, this wasn't even the hard part yet.
Within a few minutes the door chimes, someone outside it. Security features would show that it is indeed Feint in her modified semi-original chassis, pristine white with a black, reflective display-visor covering her face. She's waiting for him to let her in - manners and all.
Blurr is happy to see her out of that terrible pile of haphazard parts, anyway. He immediately opens the door to allow her inside. Once she does step in, she would find him standing just beyond the doorway. "Feint...I---wow, you look amazing..." he compliments, not yet having seen her new body yet.
She takes notice of that. It's easy to be circumspect when the door is as transparent as glass for her. "Thank you. What can I do for you?" she asks pleasantly, accepting the statement and wanting to get to the meat of the matter.
Blurr gazes at her for what feels like an eternity, his optics sad. Suddenly, he just grabs her and embraces her tightly, as if he's been wanting to do that for a long time, because he definitely has. "I've missed you so much," he whispers. "I don't want you to do anything for me any more...I just--I just wanted to say that--you were right. About everything. And I was wrong, and I was stupid. -Really-...stupid."
Feint is surprised at the hug to say the least; her visor flickers with prismatic colors, startled, before she enfolds Blurr in her arms and returns the embrace. "All I ever wanted was to give you the freedom of mind and body that you gave me. How in the world did this wonderful change come about?"
"It took a -long- time." Blurr sighs, shaking his head as he finally lets go of her and sits down in the living area. "I didn't expect you to even -want- to see me..." He mumbles, staring at the floor for a moment. "But---I was having these visions. These nightmares about...about myself. About the past, about killing all my friends. I finally understood what they were trying to tell me." The racer looks back up at her. "If you had never been there for me, never intervened in the way that you did--that vision would've been a -reality-. I may have saved your life, but it came at no cost to me, Feint." he admits, looking ashamed. "In fact, I didn't even save you for -you-. I saved you because I thought it would earn me even more praise than I already soaked in every cycle as it was. It made me feel...more important, because it turned me into something more than just an entertainment icon. And then to make matters worse, I asked you to do something that I didn't understand the meaning of!"
He shakes his head again. "It wasn't that I didn't have freedom of mind and body. I did, I just didn't want it badly enough. I gave it away because I didn't want to be responsible. I let other people make decisions for me because I didn't want to face the reality that I needed to step up and learn to make them for myself. Why do you think I kept saying I wished I could go back into isolation? Because I wanted to go back into my own little carefree world where I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else but myself. And even if I couldn't do that, at least I could let someone else do my thinking for me and pretend I wasn't responsible for any of it. Everything I did centered around -me-. Myself. It was stupid. And selfish, and...I'm an idiot."
"You were also a newspark," Feint points out. "I can't really blame you for doing what someone young does; you had to learn. I'm surprised to hear you say all this. I'd wondered if you still had neurological damage, bad code stuffed into you."
Her visor parts and retracts, exposing the face beneath it. She smiles gently at Blurr. "Did you just reason this out for yourself?"
Blurr sighs, shaking his head at that point. "Yeah okay maybe I was but people -died- because I was selfish, Feint!" He rests his head on his hands. "It wasn't just like, a little property damage here and there, or even a few hurt feelings. If--if I hadn't been so stupid, maybe Shiftlock wouldn't be -dead- right now!"
He shrugs at her question of whether he'd figured it out for himself. "No, it took you plus a -lot- of other people to finally drill sense into my processor." He pauses.
"Actually there is one thing I was hoping you'd do for me...I was hoping you'd forgive me. I know, I know--I hardly deserve it. After everything I've done, and how I've treated you and how I've treated other people. But please...Feint, I can only beg you to forgive me."
Feint hehs. "You didn't need to ask. I never held anything against you, Blurr, but if it makes you feel better, then you're forgiven."
"How are you holding up now? Since Megatron has free run of the planet ... what are you doing with yourself these days?"
"You...didn't?" Blurr looks shocked at this revelation, finding himself amazed at it. The amazement turns to relief once she does oblige his request. "I--thank you. For everything..." He hugs her again.
"Don't tell anyone else but I've been running in the illegal tournaments. Just something to get my mind off of everything until someone shows up to get in Megatron's face and tell him what he needs to be told in a way that actually gets through to him. Or something."
"I doubt Megatron will change his course. I've known him long enough to know his mind and his moods. Sentinel did him wrong in a terrible way, and he'll ride that bitterness out to its inevitable end," Feint states. "As it is, I'm avoiding being spotted. I'd rather not be forcibly registered. I guess it's back to hiding in the shadows again."
Blurr sighs. "You're right. He won't. But the people of Cybertron aren't going to take it from him for much longer. Not after Sentinel, and not after Zeta. -Someone- is going to light the energon with a detonator, Feint. Someone is going to get in his face. And then..." he shakes his head. "And then it'll be us against them. Megatron's supporters, versus everyone who thinks he's turning into another Zeta Prime. It's not going to be pretty, that's for sure."
"It'll be a war."
Feint looks out the window briefly, as if staring into the distance. It may seem a thousand-yard-stare, but for her, it's a quick surveilance of the area, to make sure she was not followed. "You'll be safe enough. You can outrun nearly anything, after all. I suppose that now is a good time to live fast and die young."
Blurr nods gravely. It's true, isn't it? "I guess we can only hope that it won't last long." He watches as she appears to stare into the distance, but knowing her, she's probably doing far more than that. "Oh," He zips off into the back of the hab suite for a moment, then returns with two small devices that are stylized with the wing-shaped motifs that have always decorated the sides of Blurr's head. They're magnetic and easily attachable to any part of the outer armor. "Here, I don't know how much of your former abilities you managed to retain, but these might help with uh disguises. I used to wear these for testimonials and other public appearances that didn't involve racing, for the sake of looking like I always had the frame that was in fashion without actually getting any refits. Or if they thought I ever needed some extra 'flair'. We just didn't let any fans actually get -too- close." he smirks slightly.
Feint shakes her head 'no' and holds up a hand. "No thanks, I don't really need disguises. I do appreciate your concern however." Clasping her hands together in front of herself at waist level, she asks, "Have you found any new friends? Made any contacts? If there's anyone you think I should be looking out for or helping, please let me know."
"Are you sure?" Blurr looks concerned, frowning a little. But heck, Feint's made it this far. Given what she was when he first met her...the fact that she's managed to survive this long proves that she can take care of herself, there's no question about that. "To be honest, -everyone- needs to be looked out for these cycles." he sighs. "Maybe even some of Megatron's -own- people."
"I'm sure. I'm quite capable of handling myself now, and despite everything that's happened, I'm likely to be the last Autobot Megatron would ever try to destroy." She's far too valuable to him for particular reasons. "No new friends then? You should try to make some while you can."
"I wouldn't say new friends as much as...revitalizing? old ones." Blurr shrugs. "Oh, uh. There was that one fembot, Road Rage. I guess she's cool." He didn't know her that well, but thus far she was nice.
"Why wouldn't Megatron want to destroy you?" he asks. "Because he owes you for...I dunno whatever it was you had to do for him?"
"Patient confidentiality. I can't go into it any further than that." Feint she turns to leave. "If that's all then, and if you're making friends and learning to roll on your own wheels, then I'm happy for you, Blurr." She visors her face. "That's the most important thing. I'm sorry but I can't stay any longer. I've got hics to go before I recharge and promises to keep."
Patient confidentiality? Blurr looks confused, unable to connect the dots. Why would that be a reason not to kill her? If anything shouldn't it be a reason to -want- to kill her? To keep information she has from falling into hands he'd rather it stay out of? But since she won't say any more, he won't press any further.
He nods and stands as she turns to leave. "Right." The racer puts a hand on her shoulder for a moment, squeezing affectionately. "Feint...we both know things are going to get worse before they ever get better...and so--I just...want you to know that--if for some reason one of us doesn't make it through to the end of all this--I want you to know that I'll always love you, and I'm really thankful that you didn't give up on me, even when I--when I pushed you away."
She leans over and touches her forehead to Blurr's. "You'll always occupy a place in my spark, Blurr. I think it's all for the best - after all, you've finally come into your own, and without me to hold your hand to do it. I want you to keep that up, and truly become the mech you were meant to be."
With that, Feint slips out the door and exits the Skyline Towers from one of the upper landing decks.